Japanese Bride

Japanese Brides — Meet Japanese Mail Order Brides

by | Oct 2, 2024

They are cute, polite, modest, elegant, and quite traditional regarding romantic relationships… But that’s definitely not all you need to know about them. The good news is that if you’re looking for a Japanese mail order bride, everything you need is already here, on our platform—and before you start dating them, you just have to read our guide. We’ll explain how much it costs, why it’s a good idea, why these women become mail brides, and answer all your questions!

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What are Japanese women like?

Some believe they’re perfect, while for others, they aren’t the best partners for life. Here are the top 5 facts you need to know about Japanese women that will help you build your own image of them:

  • They often are sweet, cute, and soft, these are some of the main female virtues in Japanese society.
  • Being modest and refined means being beautiful here in Japan (that’s the concept of “okuyukashii” for you), but it’s not that they never show anger or fight with their partners, of course. They don’t throw dishes when angry, but don’t expect them to avoid the conflict in 100% of cases.
  • They are not marriage-minded and building a family isn’t the top priority for today’s Japanese ladies. The number of marriages per capita in Japan, for example, is 50% lower than that of the US, and more than 34% of young Japanese have never been in a romantic relationship!
  • They are generally not as emotional as other Asians. If you’re a complete stranger, you might even think they’re reserved or cold.
  • It may be extremely difficult to understand their real emotions. It’s all about achieving “social harmony”—they are expected to control their emotions and displaying their feelings may be considered as lack of self control. 

So they are not just “perfect”, as you see. They have complex personalities, just like everyone else, and moreover, their cultural background makes them very different from people who live in Western countries. 

They make great wives, but you should also be aware they are not as marriage-minded and conservative as Southeast Asian women, and they are also not always that shy in a relationship. Before you find a Japanese wife, weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages—that’s how you’ll avoid unrealistic expectations. 

How to impress women from this country

Generalizations are never good. Every Japanese woman is unique and has her own expectations and views, so unfortunately, we can’t say that there are lots of dating tips that will help you succeed with any lady from this country.

However, we have 4 simple rules here:

  • Respect her private space. It’s both about physical contact and emotional boundaries—both too much physical contact and too personal questions can be a huge turn off at the first stages of your relationship.
  • Don’t expect them to be too straightforward. As you already know, these women tend to hide their true emotions, and this might lead to misunderstanding. You’ll need to decode subtle hints and learn all those subtle signs, that’s the only way it works.
  • Learn Japanese. Surprisingly, Japan has a very low English Proficiency index (it’s similar to the one Afghanistan has), so don’t expect them to be fluent English speakers. Learn Japanese instead—it’s a difficult language to learn, but the benefits are countless.
  • Be confident. Japanese women are tired of passive men who are afraid of them (“sōshoku-kei danshi”). Show that you are confident enough and you’ll stand out from the crowd.

So, if you want to not screw up with a Japanese mail order wife, these tips might be helpful!

Let’s talk about online and real-life meetings with these gorgeous ladies now. And remember the basics we’ve shared with you—take them with you into your dating journey!

Where & how to meet Japanese brides

There are lots of Japanese looking for marriage. However, meeting them is not that easy. There are two options you have—online dating platforms and offline dating—and here, we’re going to talk about these options.

Online dating

We are not talking about social networking platforms or “traditional” Western dating websites here, of course. It’s international dating/mail bride sites we’re talking about—and they are in fact your #1 choice if you’re going to find Japanese wife online. 

These sites are just like all the other dating sites with their messaging tools, dating profiles, search filters, and premium subscriptions or credits. But there are some differences, too—thus, unlike “traditional” dating apps, Japanese mail order bride sites can be better suited for long-distance relationships because of a wider assortment of communication tools. And they are also safer and more secure than free Western dating platforms because on mail order brides, they usually check female profiles to make sure they are real people and not scammers.

And that’s not all.

Offline dating

What about offline dating? Well, it’s possible, too—no one forbids you to book a ticket to Japan and start approaching local women right away. Japan has great nightlife and lots of places where you can meet girls who would love to have some fun with a nice foreign guy.

But does it mean you can find a bride on the streets of Tokyo?

Offline dating is a valuable experience, but not in Japan—they just don’t speak English well and are not used to being picked up by strangers on the streets. Online dating, in turn, is better—it’s more convenient, less stressful, and much more efficient. And it’s also much more affordable.

How much does it cost to get a Japanese mail order bride?

It’s impossible to “buy” Japanese wife, that’s not how it works. But you’ll need to date her online, meet her in Japan, and arrange a wedding—and all these things are not free. 

First, let’s see how much online dating costs. Let’s take SakuraDate as an example (it’s a trusted dating app with a very common credit-based system). 

  • This site has several credit packages—if you purchase the largest one, you’ll only pay 20 cents per credit.
  • Sending 1 email costs 20 credits ($4), 1 minute of live chat costs 2 credits ($0.4).
  • On average, men spend around 400-500 minutes per month chatting and send around 10-15 emails per month
  • 400 minutes of live chat and 10 emails would cost you $200.
  • 500 minutes of live chat and 15 emails would cost you $260.
  • So the average cost of 1 month of online dating is around $200-$260.

Now, the offline part. 

  • A 1 week trip to Japan would cost you around $3,000.
  • The K-1 visa costs $2,500
  • You will probably also pay around $500 for gifts and presents, but this is not necessary, of course.

As for the wedding, it’s not that easy. Thus, the average wedding cost in the US is $35,000 but according to some surveys, more than half of Americans spend less than $10,000 on it. In Japan, they spend on average around $22,000 on wedding ceremonies and parties, but it’s also completely possible to find an agency which will organize a frugal wedding party for $5,000 or even less.

Japan is an expensive country, and that applies to marrying local women, too. However, it’s still possible to save money—for example, you can use flight aggregators, visit the country off-season, invite fewer guests to the wedding, etc. 

What makes Japanese girls look for husbands abroad?

There are thousands of mail brides from Japan so there must be a good reason for them to search for a foreign husband.

In fact, there are at least 4 of these reasons.

  • Local men are not interested in marriage. 46% of Japanese men in their 20s have never been in a relationship and it seems like they accepted it—almost half of them (49.3%) don’t even want to get married.
  • They love the US and American culture. It’s one of the most pro-American nations in the world and Japanese people often dream of moving to the US.
  • They want to find a loyal man who would treat them with respect. Although Japan is a rich, Westernized country, its society is still patriarchal and local men still have problems with accepting that women are equal to them.
  • They think that Westerners are handsome. It’s not the most common reason, but there’s a lot of Japanese girls (typically those in their 20s) who think that Westerners are much more attractive than Asian men.

Though there are clear reasons, there are also some misconceptions about online dating, dating Japanese women, and themselves. We can dispel some of them.

Common myths about Japanese brides

You’ve surely heard some of those myths about Japanese women—but did you know that not all of them are true? Let’s talk about them.

“They are racist”

No, they are not racist. Like many Asians, some Japanese people might be slightly negative toward any connections with foreigners, but it’s not the case when we’re talking about young women in their 20s and 30s. 

Another important thing to understand is that you, as a foreigner, have pretty high chances of breaking those unspoken rules they have in Japan—so the chances you’ll be considered ignorant by Japanese society are naturally higher. However, if you learn their etiquette and pay attention to those rules, you will not have any problems in Japan.

“They are childish and not serious”

Well, yes, they have that “amae” term which means “acting like a spoiled child”—for example, when a girl has unreasonable requests because she wants to “test” how deeply her partner loves her, that’s exactly it. But it’s not that common, especially among women in their 20s and 30s, it’s more a teen thing. 

“They are obedient and always shy”

Definitely not! They are calm and very polite, yes, but don’t confuse it with obedience because it’s certainly not the right word to describe them. Today’s Japanese women are empowered and confident, and although they treat their men with respect, they are not passive or shy anymore.

“Marriage is not a priority for them”

This one is partly true—the marriage rate is going down and more Japanese people decide to stay single. But it’s not their women who are responsible for this situation—more often, it’s their men who become voluntarily celibate (“herbivore men”) and prefer complete social isolation (“hikikomori”). 

Even if some myths were true in the past, this doesn’t mean they’re still true. The next time you hear a stereotype about Japanese women, do your own research—because if  you just trust these stereotypes blindly, you will have a totally false impression about them.

Do you have more questions?

As you see, not all the stereotypes related to Japanese women for marriage are true, and not all those “well-known facts” about them are actually real. What you need to understand for sure is that although these women are complex and different from Western ladies, they still want similar things in a relationship: a man who would be loyal, who would respect them, and who would be loving and caring. 

If you want to learn more about them, read our FAQ section—we’ll answer the most common questions about these women there. 

FAQ

1. Are Japanese mail order brides solely motivated by financial reasons?

They are not motivated by financial reasons. We’ve heard no stories about gold diggers from Japan and it wouldn’t make any sense to expect Japanese girls to be gold diggers—they live in a rich country and they don’t see it as an opportunity to escape from poverty. 

2. Can mail order bride relationships with Japanese women be successful?

Yes! Just take a look at the divorce statistics and you’ll see it. Thus, Asian-Americans have the lowest percentage of divorce in the US and they also have a very low divorce rate in Japan (1.47 divorces per 1,000 people vs 2.4 in the US).

3. How do language barriers impact mail order bride relationship with Japanese women?

Japan has a pretty low English Proficiency index so if you think about meeting them on the streets of Tokyo, you probably should learn Japanese to increase your chances. However, those Japanese girls who plan to become mail order brides usually have pretty good English skills (at least Upper Intermediate).

Charlie Belanger
Education: Master’s in Media, Culture, and Communication, Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development
Experience: Journalist (2012-2016), Public relations assistant (2016-2018), Communication specialist (2018-present)

Charlie is the lead author and head of our content team. He’s an experienced professional who has been working with different media companies for 12 years—first as a journalist, and now, as a lead communication specialist. Charlie is also very experienced at international dating: he spent 2 years finding a foreign partner, and in 2017, he finally found Dalisay, a Filipino mail order bride—they’re married and happy, and they raise two beautiful daughters. Charlie is a very experienced professional in online dating, and especially in international online dating: he knows a lot about the industry, about how these sites work, and about how one should use them to succeed.
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